Thanks to In Java for inspiring this post! While I was commenting on hers I began to get inspired to write this:
Up yours Cyber Monday! We used to be an exclusive couple thanks to our high speed internet connection friend. But now that I've tried Black (Friday) I'll never go back (any day)! I hit the Galleria Mall by 5 a.m. and finished all of my shopping by 1:30 p.m. Some tricks to get through the Big One:
- Don't respond to anyone who greets you. This will save you lots of time in the end. Mall workers will assume you're Canadian and if someone you know recognizes you, just pretend you didn't hear them anyway. They'll soon be distracted by Auntie Anne's Pretzels aroma to pursue you. Besides, I burned a lot of bridges in 1999. They've stayed burned too!
- Remove all non-necessary boxes and packaging to a garbage near the mall entrance. This will reduce wind resistance when you sprint to your trusty SUV.If you can wear some clothes out of the store, do this too. If you bought clothes for yourself, leave your old ones behind. You know you want to throw some of that old crap away. Again, Canadians do this all the time, leaving piles of discarded stuff behind. I saw it on Channel 2! Be sure to keep your receipts though. Not to place in the gift your giving someone (screw them for returning what you gave!), but to show the mall security when they approach you for undressing in a public area.
- Finally, don't listen to any holiday music on the way home. Most of that music sucks and the songs you do remember will only serve to bring up bad memories that will inevitably cause your mind to drift (I'm looking at you 1999!)
I hope these tips have helped. If you didn't make it out last Friday, say hell to the internet for me when you're doing some last minute cybershopping!
Pax!
